As of a few days ago, a job opportunity opened up over at Dos Equis. Veteran actor, Jonathan Goldsmith, was asked to resign his classic 9-year role as “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”
And I would never presume to be the most interesting man in the world but this morning, while I was scarfing down my Huevos Rancheros, a familiar voiceover voice began speaking to me. And suddenly a hologram appeared, hovering over my table; it was me. The familiar voice then began describing the most interesting dentist in the world.
“It is said his heartfelt storytelling once made a Gila monster cry.
He once visited Mississippi…and actually found a toothy smile.
The Dalai Lama most easily finds solitude in his dental chair
In his presence, small dogs do not bark; they sing.
His hands are so gentle his patients now cry when they use Charmin.
His voice was so confident and reassuring even as a young man, that in his presence, former President Richard Millhouse Nixon was overheard saying, “Yeah, I’m a crook.”
Every March 19th, the swallows now return to his dental practice in Temple City, California.
Wisdom teeth were named in his honor.
When he crosses their path, black cats have been known to have bad luck.
He’s already done for the day by the time the tough get going.
He’s built a 20-foot wall…to keep Donald Trump out.
Even though he is liberal, he’s not once smoked a joint, driven a Prius, or bought organic kale at Whole Foods.
When he walks into a treatment room, his patients can actually smell the roses.
When he spoke, E. F. Hutton should have listened.
He springs forward in January; he never falls back.
When he is present, Ted Cruz will not drink corn chowder out of a bowl.
Birds suddenly appear when he walks by.
And his hands are twice the size of those of Marco Rubio.
When he enters a crowded room, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas actually starts asking questions.
He’s never lost a Mexican stand-off and he’s never had one with true Mexicans.
Had he coached them, Hillary today would have charisma and “feeling the Bern” would not be confused with severe acid reflux.
He can actually make a mountain out of a molehill.
In his presence, when the USC Trojan marching band plays “Conquest”, they visualize crooked teeth.
He can transform the most cock-eyed looking teeth into beautiful, healthy, lasting, SoCal smiles in only 9-months…without ever using metal braces.
He is the most interesting dentist in the world.”
“I didn’t always enjoy providing orthodontic care for teens and adults but now I’m obsessed with giving my patients the smile they’ve always really wanted…and I prefer using Invisalign.”
