Dentist Group Therapy

Categories: Health and Fitness

The good news is: the latest reports say lawyers have reeled us (dentists) in and surged into the self-destructive lead.

Don’t know how you guys would would handle it, but sometimes I’m taken slightly aback when the Labor Day barbecue conversation zooms in on my job…and friends and family start talkin’ about suicide.

The “dentists committing suicide thing” was going on even way back when I was a student and large hairy elephants were slipping into the ooze near Wilshire Boulevard. In D-school, while interacting with “drill” sergeants masquerading as clinical instructors, I used to think: suicide, never; homicide, maybe.

And I still carry some resentment around but it’s always directed outwardly; isn’t that healthy? Not good holding toxic stuff in? So a few years ago, I referred a sociopath to the instructor who said I had “train wreck” occlusion; thought they were a good match. I wrote columns about another pseudo educator and used to slip ‘em under his office door as part of my tailgate experience prior to Trojan home football games. So I know you’re supposed to leave stuff in the past but what about sharing; isn’t that supposed to be good for you too?

Anyway, the stats are all over the place. You can find reports saying dentists are 5.45 times more likely to commit suicide compared to normal people all the way down to 1.68. The wild card is probably calling Trump supporters normal people. The good news is the latest reports say lawyers have reeled us in and surged into the self-destructive lead.

But nevertheless, we apparently have our issues. And I am now part of an elite group of the finest general practice Invisalign providers in the country and our leader, who’s on my education Mt Rushmore (and who also goes by The Wolf) formed a WhatsApp group called Dentists Group Therapy.

But while I thought, “I don’t need this stuff (that much)” about 150 posts showed up on Day One. It got me to thinking and, for me, that process burns way more calories than multiple spin classes. And simply put; when the Wolf speaks, I listen.

During my first year in practice, I was listed in the phone book (remember those?) as Jack Von BUTTlow; a bit too descriptive and wouldn’t you be scarred. A few years later, a kid bolted straight outa my treatment room just because I called him Spot instead of Scott…and I thought Millennials were supposed to be sensitive. I had one patient visit me TWICE over several years (once in disguise) and request full mouth care with no anesthetic and “Just so you know, here’s a bagful of crowns and bridges I tore out myself because that’s what I do.” On trip #2, the Disguised One (DO) demanded gas fare because we refused to start treatment; she left when we called the police. On her way out, the Disguised One told us all to go to hell; two of my team members harmonized, “See you there”…another day in paradise.

Shucks, during my career, I’ve even missed the freakin’ chair and seated myself directly on the floor…twice. But I handle stuff like that better now, probably because every year I get to dress up like the Tooth Fairy for an entire day and take a pie in the face. Last time I hit the deck, I even successfully closed my case presentation from the floor and today, that patient has the smile she’d always really wanted.

But Lord knows; I understand going to the dentist isn’t totally like a trip to Disneyland (Although I’d rather have a root canal than visit the Magic Kingdom on Grad Night.) And when you truly see patients as friends and family, there really is a load of pressure to smile and be the perfectionist…especially, when Google Maps is sending new patients to the Temple City Sheriff’s Jail instead of Temple City Dental Care.

And even when someone I probably dominated on the tennis court 10-years ago isn’t writing a fictional report on Yelp or when my team isn’t being “too quiet,” you can’t say we dentists don’t make an interesting support group for one another.

As Frederick March told blue-eyed Apache half-breed Paul Newman in the 1967 film “Hombre”, “We white people stick together.” Newman’s response: “You’re gonna have to.” I think Newman would have said the same thing about dentists.