Couldn’t believe what a dining dunce/knuckle-dragger I was; outside of Texas and Arizona, your knuckles aren’t allowed to touch the table.
Bet you’ve never heard this one before? My endodontist/root canal care specialist buddy is totally the coolest guy you’re ever gonna meet.
Doc Younes Safa learned to ski the storied slopes of the legendary snow-capped mountain tops of Iran and then actually made the ski squad as a University of Minnesota Golden Gopher. And if Ducks can play football and some gifted Banana Slugs can ace Organic Chemistry, why can’t Gophers ski?
Doc Safa taught 26-year olds how to do root canals for more than a decade over at the nerve center of all SoCal culture; namely, my alma mater USC. If you Google “suave” you’ll probably see an image of Doc in an Armani suit holding a golf club or maybe suited up in work clothes painlessly saving someone’s weekend with a successful 40-minute molar root canal procedure.
And Safa also hosts events, not of the usual and customary dental kind. Of course, I’ve sat in on training days facilitated by the top ladies and gentlemen in our profession…but I’ve also enjoyed quality time spent at Doc’s golf tournaments and wine/cheese tastings.
But today, Doc took it to the next level over at Pasadena’s University Club; he clearly outdid himself. Doc sponsored a 6-hour Etiquette session hosted by the Queen of all the Right Moves, Theresa Thomas. Team members are always invited to these soirées but it was very clear from the beginning, the DDS-types would prove to be the place settings projects.
We even had nicknames for our tables, shared with complete dental strangers. We were Table 6…but actually, we were “Table #6…but #1 in your hearts.” Thank you Don Meredith.
We learned to do things the right way. We greeted, shook hands, worked the room, passed the butter counter-clockwise, and even learned to eat watermelon salad left-handed, Continental style; I think Emily Post would have actually cried. Couldn’t believe what a dining dunce/knuckle dragger I was and that’s not so good because, outside of Texas and Arizona, your knuckles are not allowed to touch the table.
When I shared I liked cutting up all of my string beans before eating them, Theresa just smiled sadly the same smile I’ve often seen when I wear a bruin T-shirt with my yellow tutu. When I told Theresa I prefer cutting up my spaghetti rather than using the pasta shovel twirl, she actually closed her eyes, clenched her fists, and started to shake a little before taking one giant step backward.
End of the day, Hygienists Chelsea and Yau and I walked into a rare misty Saturday afternoon fully in control of our suave selves and ready to assume a power stance approaching any table full of utensils and uninformed Chamber of Commerce members.
Don’t know about Chelsea and Yau, but I can’t wait to go after that next heaping plate of Lasagna Bolognese…continental style.
