Molar Jockey “…Or Are we Dancer?”
Okay, can anyone out there help me with this one? So I don’t know much about the alternative rock band “The Killers” except that their song “Human” sounds more like mainstream but that could be due to my hearing it every single day in spin class (For the uninitiated, spin class is aerobics on stationary bikes in a room full of mirrors. Really.)
“…la la la…are we human or are we dancer?” now plays in my head all day long. If it weren’t for my trusty dental drill and the loud sucking sound our vacuum makes I’d probably be borderline bruin by now.
Have you ever wanted to ask just one question of someone to clear things up? Like, did you really pay someone to sit down and write the “Five Dollar Foot Long” song? Or, why do you keep on playing those “Clipper Loud!” commercial spots (wouldn’t it be a little more merciful and human to just let the Clips slip out of town around 3AM by Greyhound?) Or, which one of you knuckleheads said, “Sarah Palin, what an awesome idea!!!”
So are we human or are we dancer? I guess if I can’t ask lead singer Brandon Flowers what in the Sam Piazza (coming soon) he’s singing about, I’ll just answer the question myself. Okay Brandster, but first I’ll just pretend you’re in my dental chair and ask, “Why dancer; why not dancers?” “Are we dancer?” sounds more like a bunch of dentists wondering if they’re a reindeer.
Anyway, I must be human because I dance sort of the way the previous City Council played nice with the School District, the Chamber, and business development.
And another one of those questions comes up. Ms. Mayor, we were actually in the movie Viola together so why can’t you guys help out the School District? If you have $37 million in reserve on a rainy day, why not hand over a measly $2 million to get the schools out of the red? Why not preserve the quality of the one local institution that’s the glue for stuff like property value and community pride? So congrats and I hope the new guys are more human than dancer.
And finally back to spin class and one last question; I’m still smiling.
So I know Woody Allen would opt for solitary confinement over lunch with an insurance agent but shucks, I like most of my insurance guys and Woody never met Alvin.
I totally respect the insurance business; to prove it, I’ve been paying them through the nose for around thirty years. And I never even knew Alvin from the gym was in the premium game until he started groaning away about some recent dental care. I think his words were, “Wow, you guys really run a scam.” Turns out, Alvin had had root canal care from a specialist and was now having a crown made to protect the treated tooth. Alvin smelled conspiracy.
“So Alvin, you wouldn’t have an internist do your bypass would you?” “
Jack, you’re the fastest spinner on the planet so you’ll understand I’ve used up all my benefits on one tooth. I actually had to pay out of pocket (whimper.)”
“So Alvin, what do you do anyway?” “I’m in insurance.”
“So Secret Agent Alvin, did you know annual maximum benefits for premium payers are basically the same now as they were in 1970? Wonder who set up that scam?”
I’m still smiling. Even though I’m still hearing “…or are we dancer?” And the answer is: Yes, if you sell dental insurance.
