It’s not over until…Whenever
Yesterday, I caught up with the second half of the U.S. versus Portugal and Cristiano Ronaldo at the World Cup. And it was just like the Spurs against Lebron…except that in basketball, you know when the freakin’ game is over!
And it’s not like I really hate soccer. I’ve just never been a major soccer fan. Didn’t grow up playing the sport and I realize soccer is full of cultivated appreciation for nuances and stuff. The athletes are really amazing and probably the most fit playing any sport out there. But let’s face it, when the end result is often 1-0 (or, ugh, nil-nil) it’s easy to start seeing some similarities between soccer and spectator silent prayer.
So maybe I’d have mixed emotions if the bruins were matched-up against the USSR, the Tea Party, or Donald Sterling, but I’m always “USA, USA, all the way!”
And listening to soccer on the radio is like needles in my ears. Listening to Tommy Smyth is a little like tuning into O.J. with a mouthful of haggis channeling Mel Gibson on speed. And you can use your head…but not your hands? But dang it, I don’t care. USA, USA, all the way!
And I’m just sayin’…if it’s so hard beating Ghana, there’s gotta be something sketchy about the sport.
So the U.S. led Portugal 2-1 after 90-minutes (the end of regulation) but the clock just kept on running. Good ole Tommy told me the overtime phenomenon is called “stoppage time.” So when injuries, substitutions, and penalties occur, the time in question is added on…and “stoppage time” marches on. An official explanation: “While the referee is bound to allow a minimum of the announced time to play out, it falls again to his or her discretion to add on further time. The referee’s whistle is then final and ends the game. The whistle tends to blow either at the conclusion of a move or during indirect play. However, there is no rule that establishes this. Referees are not required to allow an attack to continue, but even so it is rare for play to be blown dead in the midst of an attack.” Pardon my Portuguese, but what a crock.
To un-cool me, during “stoppage time”, it looked like a combination of the U.S. playing not to lose and the refs continuing play until Ronaldo finally did something or Portugal finally scored (both things happened and the official whistle blower finally did his thing.)
And I guess you never know what you’re gonna get when, while you’re ordering eggplant off the menu or opening up a box of chocolates…or watching soccer during freakin’ “stoppage time.” And while “Stupid is, as stupid does,” I think the Gumpster was really referring to “stoppage time.”
