Dr. Von Bulow's Articles

So I realize I’m now a candidate for the Schick Center program helping out molar jockeys who can’t stop talking about Invisalign. And lately, most of the beautiful on-the-inside and/or on-the-outside women I’ve hung out with away from my TCDC home, have been…well…more or less…invisible.

Yeah, I took another Certification II advanced Invisalign course last Friday and sometimes Chicago seems a lot closer than Costa Mesa. I got wasted on sports-talk radio on the looong early morning drive down to the OC and by the time I turned around for the grim journey home even the sports-talk guys were pretty much sports-talked out.

The PM sports jocks moved onto to some social topics that kept me safely interested and alert while I was averaging about 15mph through outposts like Tustin, Placentia, and Fullerton. And relationship talk can get fairly hazardous in the company of women but there’s basically no risk attached to that kind of conversation among a bunch of primitive chronic sports fan types.

The topic was “Why wouldn’t you call her back after the first date?” And since I was in the privacy of my own slow speed chase-mobile on the road to nowhere and I had the shades on disguising the bloodhound eyelids that just don’t go with the words “first” and “date”, I actively listened in.

There were the usual Seinfeld variations such as “She used to go out with Newman!” or “I’m in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people’s feelings.” And there were others like “She wouldn’t talk” (really) or “She wouldn’t stop talking” or “She smoked” or “She wouldn’t stop talking…about her Ex or her cat,” or “she laughs like hyena” and yada…yada…yada. And of course, none of those embarrassing Neanderthal excuses apply to yours truly.

But then the old single radio guy threw in, “Needy does it every time.” And hey, I get it…totally. Needy and selfish (me) are sort of like oil and water, or Palin and foreign policy (or Katie Couric), or bruin and football; they just don’t mix.

But then the old guy went a little deeper; “If any woman is that crazy about me after just one date, I figure there’s gotta be something wrong with her.”

Suddenly, I was back at the Hilton in Costa Mesa and you’ll probably never move me outa the back row again and it’s not that dangerous going back in time when you’re only movin 5mph up The 57.

So Invisalign has helped make beautiful smiles for some 1.6 million folks who’d have probably never opted for metal braces and even though the approach is the most awesome dental innovation I’ve ever seen, it’s getting exponentially even better. Aside from making cock-eyed smiles beautiful, Invisalign goes a long way in helping mouths function effectively while also restoring the natural self-cleansing nature of properly aligned teeth.

We’ve actually provided Invisalign for folks who were so high risk regarding tooth decay and gum disease that traditional braces would have probably caused some tooth loss. So if you want straighter teeth, just ask. Straight teeth also mean improved oral health.

Anyway, after staking out a spot in the back of the conference room, three of the hottest molar jockettes I’ve ever seen sat down in the row right in front of me. And it’s a shame they were all so freakin needy…in my dreams.

Seemed like I just blinked and next thing you know I was cruisin’ through Diamond Bar at a brisk 30mph pace…and channeling George Costanza. And if awesome lady DDSs are gonna travel in packs because they need to learn more about Invisalign, then I’m committing my continuing education efforts to the needy.

Ask about Invisalign. And you can call any time.

Within my very first few months of treating patients with Invisalign, something happened that I’d never forget. I saw someone’s life change and I had a front row seat.

I think of Diana every single time we begin Invisalign Care. And there are numerous reasons.

Forget that I never really liked Orthodontics when I was a student and therefore never saw straightening teeth as part of my clinical future. But I’ll be the first guy to admit receiving orthodontic care changed my life. Back in The Day, I just didn’t see me on the giving side of the proposition.

I actually used to cover my mouth with my hand when I was speaking. If early patients didn’t have canine-type reception, hearing Bolton was easier for them than understanding me. So I started my practice here in Temple City as the expressive dentist equivalent of a flabby personal trainer or a food critic who counted catsup as a vegetable.

By the time Invisalign came along (Originally the work of two MBA candidates at Stanford) I was way more than seriously curious about all the new clinical advances in dentistry. The office was loaded with cameras and computers and lasers…and I still felt a little threatened by the dental engineering also known as Orthodontics. Finally, I figured if two non-DDS types had dreamed up the system, there might actually be something to it. I gained certification as soon as GPs became eligible for training.

I met Diana at a Pasadena Chamber breakfast. I love Chamber functions because the folks who attend are such dedicated networkers they don’t even run away screaming when you tell ’em you’re a dentist.

Diana won a free TCDC Zoom! Teeth Whitening in the raffle held at the end of every monthly breakfast. After a while, she made the drive down Baldwin and within an hour or so had a smile about 5 shades lighter. After folks visit us and walk away with whiter teeth I’m more likely emboldened to ask a few questions. One question is, “Do you have any other concerns about your smile?” This time the answer was, “I know darn well you’re looking at it.”

Diana had had great whitening results and everything was looking good…with the exception of one badly discolored upper front tooth that was also sticking out at an angle not much unlike Sarah Brightman taking a curtain call in front of the rest of the lined-up cast of The Phantom.

Diana helped head up a local non-profit, her children were all grown up, her family had always come first; you’ll never meet warmer person. On Zoom! Day, plus 10 minutes, Diana shared she’d hated that tooth for at least 40 years. She never smiled without posturing to hide the tooth, hated having her picture taken, and subconsciously screened her mouth from sight, using her hand as a prop. Hmmm, been there.

Diana had heard all about Orthodontics but didn’t want braces. “What if we straightened that tooth without using braces and matched colors by placing a porcelain veneer without removing more than about 0.5 millimeters of enamel? Would you be interested?”

“Can you do all the work here?”

“Would you prefer that?”

I still attend the monthly Pasadena Chamber breakfasts. The scrambled eggs continue to need some work; there are more chiropractors present than dentists in the state of Nebraska, and the guy who leads the meeting is an unapologetic bruin honk (poor devil.) And the whole experience is a total blast.

Especially when Diana delivers her 20-second commercial with a big, beautiful freely expressed smile.

Gotta tell ya, I sure do love Invisalign. What I just said is significant.

Back when I was a dental student and O.J. was busy pitching Hertz rent-a-cars while he was running through airports, I sure did hate orthodontics. When I somehow escaped dental school in the dead of night and started out from scratch in TC, I couldn’t believe my one co-worker, Former Office Manager Diane, had previously been paid to bend orthodontic wires. If I had only known FOM Diane while I was a student, I’d have somehow raised the cash to pay her off for a wire job well done.

I’m not suggesting students should go out and hire folks to do their work; I’m just making clear the sort of fantasies this former student used to entertain (the Doc “wrath of” Kahn productions are not suited for impressionable readers younger than grandparents of Baby Boomers.)

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So when I was in dental school back in the day, gas actually went for less than a buck/gallon. I’m not totally sure whether if it had anything to do with the birth of Office Manager Dalila but I remember there was a certain uneasiness in the air. I thought it was Disco. And much like that Florida Gator kid who had a dread fear of being tasered (“Don’t tase me bro!!!”) I was more nervous than Sarah Palin in a roomful of Katie Courics whenever I heard the word “Orthodontics.”

When I was a student I thought orthodontists were just a bunch of wire-bending tooth engineer dweebs who would do just about anything to avoid the sight of blood or the prospect of giving an injection (even if they had to stay in school another two years.)
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