A Husky Problem
So I know it hasn’t been that long since the least Coach Pete Carroll virtual interview. Readers, Editor John, and even Judy Wong might object but guess what? I don’t care (especially the Judy Wong part.) We lost to the Huskies!!!
And this week I’m just not in the mood to babysit folks who oughta know enough to drag their butts into a dental office maybe twice a year and stay healthy. Lord knows, I’ve got better things to do than listen to “…are we human or are we dancer…la-la-la, la-la-la” everyday after work but if riding a stationary bike in a roomful of mirrors and listening to lousy music keeps me healthy, so be it.
When stats show that you live seven years longer when you floss your teeth whaddya want from me? And if you know you’re gonna waste hard-earned money by not using dental insurance benefits or flex plans by the end of the year, maybe throwing a grand away here and there to the rich and infamous is just your thing. Me, I’d root for the Bruins even if they were playin’ a co-ed swimsuit all-star team…if the bikinis were representing the insurance industry.
And dang it, now I’m sounding just like some cranky old geezer who just had his veggies overcooked, huh? But much like my senior citizen buddy Coach Pete Carroll, I’m taking full responsibility. Yes it’s my fault and my fault only. Nobody made me turn on the TV, no one kept me from sending my Carroll-autographed helmet right through the middle of the 48-inch 3-hour nightmare, and I wasn’t under house arrest. Watching USC lose while impersonating the Raiders was totally my choice. And that’s why I invited Coach Pete over to El Pollo Loco for a little powwow over how he screwed up so bad and gave me such a lousy attitude (I might add that if La Polla Loca shows up offering a senior discount, I might have to drop-kick the old broad.)
As usual, the opinions expressed here do not reflect those of the NCAA, the BCS, the Pac-10, TCDC, or even the City Council and the Gang of One.
“Coach Pete, as usual it’s great having you here in Temple City, the city of vacant store fronts, large cement slabs and larger dirt lots; hope you took Baldwin.”
“Doc V, of course it’s totally awesome bein’ here and your astute mentoring is totally special but what’s up with your attitude; it’s really jacked-up?”
“Coach, we lost to the freakin’ Huskies. I haven’t slept for a week, Thursday I snapped at Singing Dental Assistant Kolleen just because she was humming a Bolton tune, and yesterday, I couldn’t even stay focused long enough to eat a steamed artichoke. How could we lose to the Huskies; they lost all their games last year (I wipe away a tear)?”
“Young Jack, we declare high goals like being great forever, but there are no guarantees. Each setback we experience is an opportunity to look within and become even more powerful if we leave that setback in the past. To err is human; to create new possibilities is transformational. And it’s totally awesome and it’ll be a total blast when beat the living hell out of those dudes next year in the Coliseum!!!”
“Dang it Coach, you had me scared there for a minute or two when you were talkin just like a fortune cookie. All that Zen garbage might play really well on the Westside but over here in the real world, my Armenian dry cleaner is disrespecting me just because you lost to Sarkesian.”
“J-Dawg, just remember you’re still the foremost elite athlete/dentist/scribe in the San Gabriel Valley…and also remember revenge is totally awesome; it adds texture, flavor, and even romance to athletic dominance. IT’S A BLAST!!!”
“Coach, that makes sense. I feel better now; I could eat an artichoke. Did I tell ya I was Half-Sicilian? So is that really white hair or do I see some dark roots?”
“Bite me Molar Jockey!”
