Dr. Von Bulow's Articles

So what’s more fun than being all geared-up and walking down Rush St. to Starbuck’s the pristine Chicago morning after my Trojans hand the Domers their domes for the eighth year in a row? Yeah, okay, so maybe I’m not counting doing “Friends in Low Places” better than Garth for an open-mouthed captive audience Monday-Thursday but it’s still really cool.

And I know you won’t have a clue if you’re a powder puff blue bruin because this kind of stuff is rarer for you guys than a trip to Pasadena in January. But I digress.

A ticket to the USC-Notre Dame game: $68. Grilled Brats on campus: three bucks. Walking into Gibson’s after a win wearing a USC hoodie and getting a table with no reservations: priceless.

So this was my fifth consecutive trip to Chicago and South Bend for the game, the chapel, the Grotto, and yes, even Touchdown Jesus. Back in 2001, I received a solid, sincere Midwestern “Welcome to Notre Dame Stadium” and nothing’s changed since. For me, the trip has become a pilgrimage.

Truth is, this is the one indulgence the economy, the Piazza (coming soon) and even leaping lizards or leprechauns can’t derail. Arctic air, too many carbs, lousy Pac-10 officials or not, my immune system thrives on trips to the Windy City and South Bend every two years.

And this year, there were no vacations, unless you wanna call the hell I put myself through on local golf courses recovery time. Just seemed like this time around it made sense to play things safe. And when I started wondering about South Bend, the voices I heard seemed to be coming from my brother Jay and Bobby McPherrin; they were harmonizing “Don’t worry, be happy…it’s almost October.”

So I rarely go to Mass these days, don’t place flowers at cemeteries, and haven’t even really prayed since Mom died. But that doesn’t mean I don’t talk with and dream about Mom and Dad and Jay all the time, especially on Sundays. The Pasadena restaurant pasta sauce almost passes the Mama Von Bulow test but the lack of homemade unconditional love always gets in the way of a strong “thumbs up.”

Every two years at South Bend, spare ticket or not, Saturday is all about quality time with brother Jay, my all-time marketing director and Trojan fanatic mentor. And it’s amazing how your big brother never stops having your back, being your protector or guardian.

Went solo to Chicago this year and spent most of a week with the Days, a TC family that makes the Huxtables look dysfunctional (and that’s even including Brian.) Hung out with a young Jesuit at Long Beach International, shared umbrellas with USC Chaplin Father Lawrence at the Friday rally at the Naval Pier; I think maybe Jay was tryin’ to tell me something.

And when I finally made it to my stadium seat, I spent a few minutes wiggling my fingers, toes, and ears hoping to avoid pre-game frostbite when I heard, “Jaaack! Dr. Von Bulooow!!!” Wound up sitting next to our own TCHS/USC football hero, my Facebook buddy, Desmond Reed and his girlfriend.

I think my brother, the Jesuits and other divine powers that be kept the game close out of respect for a special day precious few will ever experience. And that’s why I still have the greatest big brother any grad from even the University of Spoiled Children could ever have.

So if you go to Webster’s and look up “insure” and “ensure” the words are virtually interchangeable. And when I’m paying premiums these days I’m seriously wondering exactly what’s been made secure, certain, or safe.

And I also totally realize it was only a couple of weeks ago that I last went on and on about insurance. But that was before I got jumped on the Internet. And I didn’t even call the other guy a bruin.

I’m proud to be part of an awesome E-mail network comprised of leading-edge dentists throughout the country and I love participating. Of the truly engaged component of our Molar Jockey Internet crew, about 80% would probably fist pump Rush (some are on a first name basis) if he were only a little more conservative and slightly more self-expressed. Sometimes it gets a little weird.

After spending way too much quality time on the network I actually start getting kind of paranoid. Suddenly, I’m looking for Socialists everywhere. On TV, in my gym bag, even behind the crummy fence lining TC’s “The Piazza (coming soon.)”

Seems like government doing anything these days is Socialism. And I guess if you’re one of the 47 million with no health insurance or one of 25 million with not enough insurance maybe you’re looking for some “security” or “safety” wherever you can find it. Think you’ll find relief from caring, sympathetic insurance companies? In the health insurance industry, relief is spelled P-R-O-F-I-T.

Between 2000 and 2007, the top ten health insurance companies increased profits by 428%, mostly because they could. Premiums for employer-provided health insurance (that’s me) have doubled since 2000. Even in dentistry, the annual maximum benefit that was $1000 in 1971 remains $1000 today in spite of inflation that makes everything 7-8 times more expensive now than almost 40 years ago.

So I dunno; some key reasons I’m a healthcare provider today and an employer who provides full health insurance for my co-workers go to my public school education K-12 and later at Cal State LA. And without my “socialized” education I could easily be one of some 72 million folks who are one banana peel away from losing everything. As it is, I’m just another small businessman ensured of getting hosed by insurance.

Maybe I’m crazy but the public sector was there for me when I wanted an education. The private sector dropped my worker’s comp coverage after 15 years because a dental assistant hit her elbow on a counter top while cleaning up a treatment room.

Funny thing is, not having dental insurance actually keeps folks away from the dentist when the tab for x-rays and exam are the investment equivalent of a microwave oven. And the preventive value of a visit to the dentist can be tens of thousands of dollars in terms of quality of life and even years of life.

So part of dealing with healthcare is being responsible and doing what you know you oughta do to take care of yourself. We’ve worked to encourage folks by offering complimentary x-rays and exam (or if there is dental insurance coverage, a rebate of similar value for future care.) Now if we could just get a similar commitment from a few health insurance companies. Or maybe some decent competition and competitive prices.

But see ya; gotta run. I’m off to the public 210 and the public driving range; might even listen to some public radio coming from public Pasadena City College on the way. Just hope I’m not getting a lesson from some freakin’ socialist golf pro…

Please accept my apologies for being such a dang grump a couple of weeks ago; my bad. Seemed like even “virtual” Coach Pete couldn’t interview me out of a bad attitude. And I even called La Polla Loca an “old broad” (means she must be less than ten years younger than me.)

So if you really do have any paid-for dental benefits available between now and the end of 2009, do take advantage of them. Why lose funds that would have helped provide better oral health, not to mention additional smiles and quality time to smell some more roses?

And please do use dental floss. Users really do live an average seven years longer and that data includes the Derby State of Kentucky (the same place that gave us “tooth” whitening and drive-thru denture franchises.)

A few things happened during the last two weeks that got me to thinking an apology was definitely in order. The experiences produced some endorphins that are nowhere to be found during spin class where my going 90mph (an estimate) on a stationary bike in a roomful of mirrors is way less euphoric than the air conditioning.

I was daily reminded about what was so special about my career choice. Wasn’t all the new gadgetry or the cool title or even working indoors with A/C listening to music or even a schedule my Dad would have considered part-time. Wasn’t even the Trojan shrine…it was the people.

I basically get to work with family I can choose and I get to make new friends every day. And all I have to do is be interested. Who wouldn’t?

It’s always fun meeting new patients and catching up with old friends because the conversation is never the same twice. Considering the vast expanse of what I don’t know I don’t know, my just being with people is a continuing, continuing education available to me 8 hours/day Monday through Thursday. Plus research shows you retain stuff better when you’re having fun so why not have fun?

Today I opened up a letter from one of our former in-service training students from PCC. Abe has sent us updates during the last three years and this time proudly announced his passing the Boards, paving the way for his chosen career as a Physician’s Assistant. I don’t think we scared him out of dentistry (maybe Singing Dental Assistant Kolleen…)

Well Abe is just the kind of person who will make a difference for folks in healthcare; he’ll save some lives and add quality to countless others…because he cares. And I’m beyond being flattered that he shared his great news (with test scores and resumé included.) One reason I start so many sentences with “so” goes back to all the questions Abe used to ask, most of them starting with “So…?”

Also received an e-mail from the daughter of one of my classmates. Inger shared she hadn’t been to the dentist since the passing of her Dad, an awesome dentist and an even more awesome guy who saved some lives by making dentures that transformed weakened, starving senior citizens into Jack LaLanne look-alikes. Inger wondered if we would accept her as a new patient. Made my month.

Next week I’ll be landing at O’Hare for the annual thumping of the Irish and I’ll have a ride into Chicago…courtesy of a great patient and friend who actually has more Trojan gear than me.

So if I come off as a grump in the future feel free to drop-kick me some feedback. “It’s the people stupid!” would be more than appropriate.

So I know it hasn’t been that long since the least Coach Pete Carroll virtual interview. Readers, Editor John, and even Judy Wong might object but guess what? I don’t care (especially the Judy Wong part.) We lost to the Huskies!!!

And this week I’m just not in the mood to babysit folks who oughta know enough to drag their butts into a dental office maybe twice a year and stay healthy. Lord knows, I’ve got better things to do than listen to “…are we human or are we dancer…la-la-la, la-la-la” everyday after work but if riding a stationary bike in a roomful of mirrors and listening to lousy music keeps me healthy, so be it.

When stats show that you live seven years longer when you floss your teeth whaddya want from me? And if you know you’re gonna waste hard-earned money by not using dental insurance benefits or flex plans by the end of the year, maybe throwing a grand away here and there to the rich and infamous is just your thing. Me, I’d root for the Bruins even if they were playin’ a co-ed swimsuit all-star team…if the bikinis were representing the insurance industry.

And dang it, now I’m sounding just like some cranky old geezer who just had his veggies overcooked, huh? But much like my senior citizen buddy Coach Pete Carroll, I’m taking full responsibility. Yes it’s my fault and my fault only. Nobody made me turn on the TV, no one kept me from sending my Carroll-autographed helmet right through the middle of the 48-inch 3-hour nightmare, and I wasn’t under house arrest. Watching USC lose while impersonating the Raiders was totally my choice. And that’s why I invited Coach Pete over to El Pollo Loco for a little powwow over how he screwed up so bad and gave me such a lousy attitude (I might add that if La Polla Loca shows up offering a senior discount, I might have to drop-kick the old broad.)

As usual, the opinions expressed here do not reflect those of the NCAA, the BCS, the Pac-10, TCDC, or even the City Council and the Gang of One.

“Coach Pete, as usual it’s great having you here in Temple City, the city of vacant store fronts, large cement slabs and larger dirt lots; hope you took Baldwin.”

“Doc V, of course it’s totally awesome bein’ here and your astute mentoring is totally special but what’s up with your attitude; it’s really jacked-up?”

“Coach, we lost to the freakin’ Huskies. I haven’t slept for a week, Thursday I snapped at Singing Dental Assistant Kolleen just because she was humming a Bolton tune, and yesterday, I couldn’t even stay focused long enough to eat a steamed artichoke. How could we lose to the Huskies; they lost all their games last year (I wipe away a tear)?”

“Young Jack, we declare high goals like being great forever, but there are no guarantees. Each setback we experience is an opportunity to look within and become even more powerful if we leave that setback in the past. To err is human; to create new possibilities is transformational. And it’s totally awesome and it’ll be a total blast when beat the living hell out of those dudes next year in the Coliseum!!!”

“Dang it Coach, you had me scared there for a minute or two when you were talkin just like a fortune cookie. All that Zen garbage might play really well on the Westside but over here in the real world, my Armenian dry cleaner is disrespecting me just because you lost to Sarkesian.”

“J-Dawg, just remember you’re still the foremost elite athlete/dentist/scribe in the San Gabriel Valley…and also remember revenge is totally awesome; it adds texture, flavor, and even romance to athletic dominance. IT’S A BLAST!!!”

“Coach, that makes sense. I feel better now; I could eat an artichoke. Did I tell ya I was Half-Sicilian? So is that really white hair or do I see some dark roots?”

“Bite me Molar Jockey!”