Dr. Von Bulow's Articles

Gotta tell ya, I sure do love Invisalign. What I just said is significant.

Back when I was a dental student and O.J. was busy pitching Hertz rent-a-cars while he was running through airports, I sure did hate orthodontics. When I somehow escaped dental school in the dead of night and started out from scratch in TC, I couldn’t believe my one co-worker, Former Office Manager Diane, had previously been paid to bend orthodontic wires. If I had only known FOM Diane while I was a student, I’d have somehow raised the cash to pay her off for a wire job well done.

I’m not suggesting students should go out and hire folks to do their work; I’m just making clear the sort of fantasies this former student used to entertain (the Doc “wrath of” Kahn productions are not suited for impressionable readers younger than grandparents of Baby Boomers.)

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This morning I sat down to write about oral cancer awareness.

I realize oral cancer gets its share of space around here and I was a little concerned about my maybe just going through the motions. I think I was also feeling self-conscious about being repetitious or perhaps just a bit short on material.

When I started out writing for the Weekly I really didn’t like my chances for coming up with a topic every single week. I wondered exactly what was in store for the readers after about Week Eight. I soon developed a routine or ritual where I would go see a movie Friday afternoon and then write the article. Something about being moved by what I saw on the big screen (if I wasn’t moved, I rented a favorite that would do the job) inspired me to look at the past week with a fresher perspective. This morning was sort of like Week Seven…until I remembered a certain video.

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Webster’s defines the word temporary as meaning “not permanent”. Seems my Webster’s trouble started way back in dental school.

For those who are fortunate enough to be uninitiated regarding the crown experience, here’s how it usually goes. The patient comes in for appointment #1 and has the tooth in question shaped; in the process, tooth decay and existing restorations get removed. When the shaping is done and everything’s clean and there’s enough space for a crown to fit over the tooth without sticking out too far or wide, the dentist takes an impression. When poured up in plaster, the impression will show the technician exactly what the tooth looks like after the shaping. The technician then builds the crown to fit the model poured from the impression. The next appointment is for cementing the crown to the tooth. Between appointments I and II, the patient wears a temporary crown.

Everyone confused yet?

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So when I was in dental school back in the day, gas actually went for less than a buck/gallon. I’m not totally sure whether if it had anything to do with the birth of Office Manager Dalila but I remember there was a certain uneasiness in the air. I thought it was Disco. And much like that Florida Gator kid who had a dread fear of being tasered (“Don’t tase me bro!!!”) I was more nervous than Sarah Palin in a roomful of Katie Courics whenever I heard the word “Orthodontics.”

When I was a student I thought orthodontists were just a bunch of wire-bending tooth engineer dweebs who would do just about anything to avoid the sight of blood or the prospect of giving an injection (even if they had to stay in school another two years.)
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